What separates children who do good in school and those who don’t? Aside from disparities in the results of IQ exams, a more important component should be examined: whether a child is amply noticed and rewarded. Rewards don’t really have to come in the form of material things. Praise is the most powerful form of reward system for children.
When someone gives praise, it means that the giver of the praise has been paying attention and appreciates completely what the other person has done. Children crave this attention because they need to know whether they are doing something correctly. Later in life, the social recognition would come from other people as well.
The next time you think of skipping a family meal for a night out with friend, think about this: your kids would do better if they see you at night. In the final analysis, the kind of support that children require can be acquired from simple things like family dinners. When you’re there, the children can tell you their problems and their difficulties outside the home.
Once again, the role of a good parent cannot be tied solely to the capacity for material acquisition, but also with the active participation of the parent in the children’s lives. If you keep ignoring your children, you end up losing their connection with them. You also end up losing their trust and interest.
If you’re suffering from very stressful situations in the office setting, there just might be hope for you. The office setting is often the most stultifying and most hostile environment for personal growth. That’s why you should take steps to make sure that you alter at least your immediate space. You can do this by being more generous and kind to the people around you.
Such behavior often rubs off on people; you would probably form your own band of trusty friends this way. This would also make your immediate environment less hostile. You would be happier and more willful to pursue your goals than other people. In the end, you would benefit largely from your enterprise.
One of the most puzzling questions posed to human civilization is, does kindness even matter? Social Darwinism points to a rough truth that most of the so-called achievements of the human race were borne out of violence and not kindness. Therefore, is the human race a predominantly violent race with no space for kindness?
A study from the US is proving this theory wrong. The study states that communities that practice altruism are more likely to survive the longest than those who don’t. This extends of course, to personal relationships. So the next time you’re thinking of saying something unkind, think of survival. In the next few decades, your quality of life would also be dictated by the behavior of people around you.
Of course, they can. That’s why so many good Platonic friendships are dissolved. Lending and borrowing money from friends is the decisive test of a personal relationship. Often, friends feel less obliged to pay back friends they have had for a few years. The aggrieved part of course, feels very aggrieved and offended.
If a friend is in real, urgent need of cash and you can afford to lend him or her some, make it formal. By writing a short and simple contract, you’re establishing formal grounds where no friends exist.
Such a contract would also place your friend at a formal, obliged position to repay the debt. You’re emphasizing that you need the money, too. Have you ever experienced being borrowed from but never repaid by friends or relatives? What did you do to remedy the problem?